Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
