just tell him i said nine months
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
