I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
