First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Im part way to drunk.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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