Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
