that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
