dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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