I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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