we were pretty classy up until the second keg
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
