cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
