dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
