Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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