What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
At least make sure they are 18
Why
literally had 100 drinks last night.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize