watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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