I love black thongs
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
