he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
