Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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