ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
