WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
