...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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