What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
