dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
