I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
