You're a womanizer and a bitch.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
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