Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
