I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
