you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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