Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
