My balls are so social today.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
