we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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