i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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