I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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