The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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