dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize