I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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