Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
