then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
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