my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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