Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
