I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
