Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
