I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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