Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize