I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
