and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
