and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
operation have a gay friend backfired
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
