Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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