I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
