Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize