Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
