he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
