I wish life had little blips of pornography
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
