so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
