when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We talked him into tasing himself.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
