just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
