I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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