Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
