JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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