Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
