Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.

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(619): View more from California

Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep

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(801): View more from Utah

so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me

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(773): View more from Illinois

Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.

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(917): View more from New York City

hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye

(908): View more from New Jersey

AMAZING.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?

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(928): View more from Arizona

Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...

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(530): View more from California

I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?

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(360): View more from Washington

I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.

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