You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
