I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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