cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
