I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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