so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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