i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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