No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
