What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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