This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
